100 years of aloneness
Last night, I had a dream I saw myself being alone in lonely island walking like mad person searching something, looking for the love he had in his life, searching for her to see and get a glimpse of her.
It really scared hell out of him. He realized later that it isn't a problem unless it is really a problem. He now tries different things to forget that he really is alone, slowly in my dream I fishing at the same time being myself confused shout loudly but no one listen to his shout. He finally realizes the fact that- the journey that he has made to this desert or island is the greatest journey that he made to find the love.
"Sometimes greatest journey people travel is the distance between people". He laughs, with the loneliness and realizes that it is just opposite of his aloneness which is teaching him the lessons of eternal love.
We feel inconvenient when we are alone because we don't know who we are. With the other, things are clear, defined. We know the name, we know the form, we know the person - Hindu, Christian, Indian, and American - there are some ways to define the other. How to define yourself? Have you ever realized to define who you are? The greatest difficulties people find is to know them.
One day my wife Padhmawoti said to me, "Beware of Buddha, if you meet him on the way avoids him immediately". I was surprised by her answer and asked, "What do they mean"? I mean there is a human tendency to become imitators. People are trying to imitate, to become somebody else. Nobody can become a Christ or Buddha. There is no need. Existence will be bored if you become Christ. It wants somebody new, something original. It wants you, and it wants you to be just yourself. Deep down there is an abyss - emptiness beyond definition. You start merging into that. It creates fear. You become frightened. You want to rush towards the other. The other helps you to remain out.
When there is nobody you are simply left with your emptiness. Nobody wants to be alone. The greatest fear in the world is to be left alone. People do a thousand and one things just not to be left alone. You imitate your neighbors so you are just like them. You lose your individuality, you lose your uniqueness, and you just become imitators because otherwise you will be left alone. You become part of a crowd, a church, an organization.
Somehow you want to merge with a crowd where you can feel at ease, so that you are not alone. To be alone is really the greatest miracle. That means now you don't belong to any church or organization, you don't belong to any theology or ideology - socialist, communist, fascist, Hindu, Christian, Jain, Buddhist - you don't belong, you simply are. And you have learnt how to love your indefinable, ineffable reality. You have come to know how to be with yourself. Aloneness is the first lesson of Love. Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is very positive. It is an overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that there is no need for anybody else. Even if the whole world disappears, he will love that tremendous emptiness, this pure infinity. This does not mean that a man who has become enlightened and has come home does not live with others. In fact, only he is capable of being with others.
Because he is capable of being with himself he becomes capable of being with others. If you are not capable of being with yourself, how can you be capable of being with others? A man who loves his aloneness is capable of love, and a man who feels lonely is incapable of love.
A man who is happy with himself is full of love, flowing. He is ready to give; he is full of stories like a write with unlimited stories, like the poet with unlimited poem, like a cloud with many different patterns every day. He does not need any body's love, hence he can give. When you are in need how you can give? It is a natural response. The first lesson of love is to learn how to be alone. Try it, to have the feel. Just sit alone sometimes. The process of starting any work is the process of understanding first that I have to start.
That's what meditation is all about - just sitting alone, doing nothing? If you start feeling lonely then there is something missing in your being, then you have been unable yet to understand who you are. Then go deeper into this loneliness until you come to a layer when suddenly loneliness transforms itself into aloneness. Loneliness is the negative aspect of aloneness.
If you go deeper into it, one moment is bound to come when suddenly you will start feeling the positive aspect of it because both aspects are always together. If I were to live for 100 years, I would like to live alone with my heart full of love with the desire of understanding my love, and learning lessons of love, giving all that I have learnt to others with the ineffable reality.
It really scared hell out of him. He realized later that it isn't a problem unless it is really a problem. He now tries different things to forget that he really is alone, slowly in my dream I fishing at the same time being myself confused shout loudly but no one listen to his shout. He finally realizes the fact that- the journey that he has made to this desert or island is the greatest journey that he made to find the love.
"Sometimes greatest journey people travel is the distance between people". He laughs, with the loneliness and realizes that it is just opposite of his aloneness which is teaching him the lessons of eternal love.
We feel inconvenient when we are alone because we don't know who we are. With the other, things are clear, defined. We know the name, we know the form, we know the person - Hindu, Christian, Indian, and American - there are some ways to define the other. How to define yourself? Have you ever realized to define who you are? The greatest difficulties people find is to know them.
One day my wife Padhmawoti said to me, "Beware of Buddha, if you meet him on the way avoids him immediately". I was surprised by her answer and asked, "What do they mean"? I mean there is a human tendency to become imitators. People are trying to imitate, to become somebody else. Nobody can become a Christ or Buddha. There is no need. Existence will be bored if you become Christ. It wants somebody new, something original. It wants you, and it wants you to be just yourself. Deep down there is an abyss - emptiness beyond definition. You start merging into that. It creates fear. You become frightened. You want to rush towards the other. The other helps you to remain out.
When there is nobody you are simply left with your emptiness. Nobody wants to be alone. The greatest fear in the world is to be left alone. People do a thousand and one things just not to be left alone. You imitate your neighbors so you are just like them. You lose your individuality, you lose your uniqueness, and you just become imitators because otherwise you will be left alone. You become part of a crowd, a church, an organization.
Somehow you want to merge with a crowd where you can feel at ease, so that you are not alone. To be alone is really the greatest miracle. That means now you don't belong to any church or organization, you don't belong to any theology or ideology - socialist, communist, fascist, Hindu, Christian, Jain, Buddhist - you don't belong, you simply are. And you have learnt how to love your indefinable, ineffable reality. You have come to know how to be with yourself. Aloneness is the first lesson of Love. Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is very positive. It is an overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that there is no need for anybody else. Even if the whole world disappears, he will love that tremendous emptiness, this pure infinity. This does not mean that a man who has become enlightened and has come home does not live with others. In fact, only he is capable of being with others.
Because he is capable of being with himself he becomes capable of being with others. If you are not capable of being with yourself, how can you be capable of being with others? A man who loves his aloneness is capable of love, and a man who feels lonely is incapable of love.
A man who is happy with himself is full of love, flowing. He is ready to give; he is full of stories like a write with unlimited stories, like the poet with unlimited poem, like a cloud with many different patterns every day. He does not need any body's love, hence he can give. When you are in need how you can give? It is a natural response. The first lesson of love is to learn how to be alone. Try it, to have the feel. Just sit alone sometimes. The process of starting any work is the process of understanding first that I have to start.
That's what meditation is all about - just sitting alone, doing nothing? If you start feeling lonely then there is something missing in your being, then you have been unable yet to understand who you are. Then go deeper into this loneliness until you come to a layer when suddenly loneliness transforms itself into aloneness. Loneliness is the negative aspect of aloneness.
If you go deeper into it, one moment is bound to come when suddenly you will start feeling the positive aspect of it because both aspects are always together. If I were to live for 100 years, I would like to live alone with my heart full of love with the desire of understanding my love, and learning lessons of love, giving all that I have learnt to others with the ineffable reality.
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posted by mybheja @ 12:03 PM
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